Reflection on Father’s Day

Most people don’t make enough time to tell their nearest and dearest how much they love them. I wanted to put that right for this Father’s Day.

Those of you who know me, will know that my father was the inspiration for my book Spice for Life. He taught me all there was to know about cooking great Indian food. He even taught me how to cook using just two spices or how to create something with 30 spices, all with perfectly balanced aromatic flavours. His culinary skills were the envy of all my aunts and uncles! He had many inspirational qualities as a father. When we spent time in the kitchen or cooked outdoors, I always remember his loving patience, as well as his encouraging and clear communication. Both were key elements of why I admired him so much and learned so enthusiastically.

But this Father’s Day I’d like to tell you about someone else who is very special and who is the most amazing father to my boys.

Right from the day that my husband met my two boys, when they were aged 8 and 5 he stole their hearts. Due to Andy’s positive attitude, naturally engaging manner and of course his awesome football skills the boys instantly warmed to him.

Andy’s ability to connect with the boys emotionally came very naturally and I’m sure this was down to the fact that he listened to the boys very carefully. His well measured questions always led the boys to the answers they were looking for, which I found extraordinary.

What made Andy very special was that whenever we were out and people started talking about their children, Andy would naturally say “we have two boys”. He never mentioned the word ‘stepfather’ nor did he ever pressurise the boys to refer to him as their Dad. The boys have always called him ‘Willo’ which is Andy’s nickname from when he was much younger. When it came to setting any boundaries or disciplines for the kids it was largely down to me, and Andy would support me. After a reasonable short period, Andy’s ability to just listen and talk to boys became the reason the relationship between him and our two boys became a special one.

Andy supported the boys throughout their education and they both graduated from University and now have jobs that they really enjoy. Both have taken on Andy’s positive attitude and problem solving skills. They still sit down with Andy to talk through any concerns they may have or reflect on particular situations at work. The relationship is a really open one and there is no subject that Andy cannot handle.

For me a special quality of fatherhood is having the ability to lead your children to the answers that they are looking for. Never to judge or criticise, rather to listen and to love unconditionally. Andy may not be our children’s biological father, but he is the most amazing father that the boys could have had!

Below is the recipe that we’ll be cooking on Father’s Day – Pulled Lamb with Fiery Mint Chutney

Pulled Lamb with Fiery Mint Chutney

Preparation time 30 minutes. Cooking time 4 hours and 40 minutes. Marinate overnight.

Serves 4

Ingredients:
1.5 kg boneless shoulder lamb, butterflied (ask your butcher to do this, and to score it too)

Key Spices

1 tsp turmeric powder
2 tsp red chilli flakes
2 Indian bay leaves
2 1 inch pieces of cassia bark
2 tsp cumin seeds
1 tbs coriander seeds
1 tsp black peppercorns
1 tsp brown mustard seeds
1 tbs paprika Warming Spices
8 green cardamoms
2 black cardamoms
2 cloves
1 tsp fennel seeds
2 tbs fenugreek leaves

Other Spices
2 tbs mango powder

Wet Ingredients

2 large onions, sliced
250 ml white wine vinegar
2 tbs Worcestershire sauce
2 tbs dark brown soft sugar
2 tbs grated jaggery
4 tsp pulped garlic
2 tsp pulped ginger
4 fresh mild green chillies minced (you can remove the membrane and seeds if you prefer a milder version)
150 g sundried tomato paste
4 large ripe tomatoes, chopped finely
4 tbs raw papaya skin (try not to miss this ingredient out as it’s the tenderiser for the lamb)
4 tbs groundnut oil or vegetable oil

Garnish
1 small bunch of coriander, chopped
1 small bunch of mint, chopped
Zest and juice of one lime

Method

You are going to love this recipe – take a large frying pan set on a low heat, add all the key spices to the pan and gently warm through for 1 minute.

Remove from the heat, place in a pestle and mortar, grind to a fine powder and add to a large mixing bowl.

This is the best bit – take all of the wet ingredients and the mango powder and add to the bowl. Mix really well, add the lamb and coat it with all the other ingredients.

Cover the bowl and place in the fridge overnight.

Remove from the fridge and bring to room temperature for at least 30 minutes.

Pre-heat the oven to 140 C, 280 F or gas mark 1, then place the lamb including all the marinade in an oven proof dish. Cover with foil and cook for 4 hours.

In the meantime take a small dry frying pan and warm through the warming spices for 1 minute.

Remove from the heat, bash the green cardamoms and black cardamoms in a pestle and mortar, remove their husks and place the seeds back into the pestle and mortar. Grind to a fine powder along with the cloves, fennel and fenugreek Set aside.

Remove the foil, add the ground warming spices to the lamb.

Cook for a further 30 minutes without the foil on, or until the meat just pulls away with a fork.

Remove from the oven, add the coriander, mint, lime juice and zest.

Serve with fresh chapattis and the fiery mint chutney